This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
