you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
