i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
