you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Holy shit dude........stairs
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
