Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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