he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
