I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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