I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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