My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
