why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
