I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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