You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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