in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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