I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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