I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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