I want to make a zoo with you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
