Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Less talking, more tequila
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
