Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
