i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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