your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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