We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
