I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize