yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize