I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
