Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
