My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize