Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
