I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
