i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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