Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
