There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
