if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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