There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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