69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
