i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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