Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
