I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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