What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize