i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
