Im at strip club and am horny
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I am available for nakedness
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
