i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
