In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
