They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
