Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
