I love black thongs
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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