he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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