8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
