Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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