It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
two words...techno handjob
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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