Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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