She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
