I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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