College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
