was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
