she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
