i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just had sex on a roof
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
