I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
